The Awkward Laws

As a highly-ish educated official with three P.H.D.s(Phoney Honorary Diploma) in the science of know-it-all, I am authorized to name and publish any scientific laws I discover.  Therefore I hereby will use this blog as a publishing unit for my developments.

Zach Lemon P.H.D. presents: The Law Of Interpersonal Tension.

The law Of Interpersonal Tension, clearly states that when any two or more persons have awkward, begrudging, difficult, uncomfortable, embarrassed, or nervous emotions to the other parties of the situation, circumstantial force will place the two or more persons uncomfortably close, (ie three feet or less) until any position of tension is resolved in a usually catastrophic, humiliating, or unpredictable result.  Other more unforeseen and rare results include:

Duels: to the death, or submission.

Evacuation: one or more parties cuts off all contact and moves to a different neighborhood, city, state, galaxy.

Resolve: the multiple persons become friends, buddies, BFFs, or roommates in college.

 

Zach Lemon P.H.D. also presents: The Law Of Adult Overreaction.

The Law Of Adult Overreaction explains that for every youth action, there is an opposite and greater authoritative overreaction.

Note: This statement can be tested and proven by the reiteration to any parent or legal guardian.

 

 

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