5 Things To Be Careful Not To Cuddle

The world is full of incredible critters, and a lot of them are sooo Fuzzy!  But, despite their absurd “Cuddle Me Fur-Ball” look, there are some things that shouldn’t be held so close to your face.

  • A Grizzly Bear
    As the name implies Grizzly Bears are, yes, bears, which makes them furry;  However, the name also implies that all Grizzly Bears, are also very Grizzly.  I’m not quite sure what that means, but keep your distance.  Bears are typically faster and meaner than humans.
  • Somebody Else’s Teddy Bear
    Although incapable of dishing out paws and claws themselves, there are some things people don’t like to share, such as toothbrushes, bathrooms, water bottles, and if they’re really antisocial, the same atmosphere.
  • Killer Bees
    Killer bees do indeed kill stuff.  Not with a single sting, but with thousands all over your body because you got too close to somebody’s hive sweet home.  Honestly, I have no remote idea why anyone would even try to cuddle an insect, but bees do have tiny hairs all over their body, are kinda furry, and I noticed they are quite soft to the touch!  I know this because I never listen to my own advice and constantly play with dangerous animals
  • Unicorns
    Unicorns are fictional horses with magical powers and a skewer sticking out of their face.  The most similar animal I can associate them with are zebras, which are extremely aggressive.  Also, unicorns do not exist; Therefore, if you find yourself cuddling one, you are definitely dreaming or hallucinating.  Anything can happen in a dream.  In a dream, you are in danger of being attacked by grizzly bears, killer bees, unicorns, anti-socials, giant angry raging flying crazy toads, vampire and zombie chickens, electrical sockets, cat and dog burglars, science projects, marshmallows, cactus, and El Chupacabra.
  • El Chupacabra
    El Chupacabra is a Mexican monster whose name translates into “goat sucker”.  They have not been scientifically proven or dis-proven and therefore are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.  Wait, wrong quote.  I also know a chupacabra named Arnold that I occasionally talk to for valid info for my blog.  The name goat sucker is very rude, and totally wrong, chupacabra love chicken, pork, and Chinese take out.  They also chew their food, rather than slurping, they are a lot more polite than the credit they’re given.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s