Dolly The Sheep and Friends

In the scientific community there has been a bit of talk of somatic cloning ever since 1996 when a Finn-Dorset sheep was copied from a cell, and scientists got an identical sheep, whom they named Dolly.  Now that scientists have discovered that they can slap animals on top of a high-tech printer, and get another critter, everyone wants to see a real live Mastodon clone.  The truly funny thing is the big question, “Should we bring back mammoths?”  What’s my answer?  Heck yeah!  But it only seems right that we bring back their natural predators, such as the Saber Tooth, raptors, and everything else that has very good reasons to be extinct too.  I’ve composed a list of pros and cons.

Pros.

  • All sports teams can get awesome mascots.
  • The economy will thrive due to the increase in visits to the zoo and increased pet store sales.
  • If you train a Pterodactyl, the movie “How To Train Your Dragon” can go to live theater.
  • Riding giant currently extinct creatures is incredibly fuel efficient.
  • I can get a Saber Tooth Tiger kitten whom I will name Fiddlesticks.
  • Megalodon sharks will make an epic addition to the New Orleans Aquarium.
  • It would be pretty cool.

Cons.

  • In the event the team mascot eats a player, the official rules of all sport leagues would have to be rewritten with additional penalties for consuming opponents.
  • One of the biggest problems will be the fact that our climate has changed and that’s why these creatures are currently extinct.  The mastodons would have to take a huge adaptation leap that everyone else had at least a thousand years to complete.  Furthermore, we’ll all have to adapt to Wooly Mammoths destroying mailboxes and other things nobody thought to mammoth-proof.
  • If  scientists aren’t careful, all they have to do is grab an infected DNA sample and make a diseased clone that carries a virus that died out before humans knew what germs were.
  • Fiddlesticks might bite…
  • The switch from Subaru to T-Rex might not be as fuel efficient and good for the environment, considering dinosaurs eat a lot and have massive methane output, which will lead to huge explosions.
  • If you bring back one creature, you have to bring back it’s natural prey and predator, as well as those creature’s food and control source, and so on.
  • Scientists would have to figure out how to prevent these animals from becoming invasive species, something we can’t even do with current species.
  • The economy won’t thrive because giant reptilian monsters are raging through the city eating everyone; Therefore making demand for consumer goods lower dramatically, as well as permanently.
  • Being eaten by an Aerosteon would not be pretty cool.

As You Can See, The Good Far Outweighs The Terrible!
Come On Scientists!  Let’s Clone Hundreds Of Prehistoric Creatures, And Create A Real Life Jurassic Park!

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