My friend asked me what my New Years Resolution was going to be…
I said, “I resolve to always be nice to everyone and never do anything wrong ever again!”
She gave me the look, as if to say, “You’re kidding me.”
I replied, “Don’t you look so dang self righteous! You know your not going to keep yours either!”
But in the spirit of tradition, I’m deciding between these resolutions for the new year.
I resolve to not make a resolution.
I’m going to play with more fireworks this time!
I’ll use deodorant! At least once!
Shave! But only if I grow a beard…
I’m going to eat less or more food.